Broken Record
by Knappster
Summary: Sequel to Locked Out Of Heaven. Stacie and Aubrey see each other again after breaking up when the Bellas ask for Aubrey's help to find their sound. Staubrey.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a sequel to Locked Out Of Heaven so if you haven't read that read that first. You don't really have to but it references to some of the things from that. The title (and the culprit of this whole thing) is from a Plain White T's song from the album Wonders Of The Younger. It's a great album and I've been listening to pretty much that song and Body Parts from that while I write this so that's the mood that's going to prevail throughout most of this. I hope you like it and hit me up in the reviews or pm me or on tumblr if you want.**

* * *

Aubrey hung up the phone with a sigh and looked out the window of her office. She didn't know if the churning in her stomach was due to excitement or fear, probably a mixture of both. She hadn't seen Stacie since they broke up, and she hadn't expected to ever see her again. She spent most of her time at the lodge and she had avoided any Bellas related event. Chloe had begged her to go to last year's finals but their breakup had been too recent.

Aubrey had been keeping up with what seemed to be the downfall of the Bellas, but she never expected Chloe would ask for her help. She had been tempted to say no, or send them with someone else, but Chloe had sounded so desperate she didn't have the heart to do it. In five days Stacie and the other Bellas would be there.

She felt that familiar pull in her heart whenever she thought about Stacie. At first it was always there, a constant dull ache that intensified every time she found something that belonged to her. Stacie had taken most of her things that night but some things were deemed too unimportant to make room for them in her suitcase. She didn't move her things for a while, thinking she deserved to hurt for driving her away. When she couldn't take it anymore, she started putting them in a box in her closet. She hadn't realized how much work it would take to extricate the remnants of Stacie from her life. Whenever she thought she had gotten rid of everything, she'd find another thing: a piece of paper covered in stars where Stacie had scribbled their names on while talking on the phone; a pair of the socks she started wearing to sleep so she wouldn't wake up Aubrey with her cold feet, forgotten at the bottom of the hamper; the photo booth pictures they took at a Bellas charity event that she was using as a bookmark. And while the 'Stacie box' started to fill up, the hole in her heart didn't seem to get smaller. She didn't feel the pain after a while, incorporating it to what normal felt like now. She could only really feel it when she thought about her.

She walked back to her desk and opened up her calendar, she would have to move some things around but she could manage giving the Bellas her full attention. Now that she had accepted to help Chloe, she wasn't going to half-ass it or hand them over to one of her employees. It was now her responsibility that the Bellas got back to their former glory, even if one of them was Stacie.

She groaned and dropped her head on her desk. How was she supposed to do her job around her ex? Her ex who she was still very much in love with. She didn't want to make it awkward for the rest of the group but she couldn't just ignore Stacie. She knew that as soon as she looked into those sparkling green eyes she would forget why she hadn't fought to get her back and she'd do something stupid. She couldn't forget or all this pain would have been for nothing.

" _Aubrey, I'm leaving."_

 _Aubrey placed her hand over the speaker. "Okay, see you later."_

 _Stacie sighed exasperated and dropped her suitcase in front of Aubrey. "No, I'm leaving. I'm going back to Barden."_

" _Josh, I'm gonna have to call you back." She hung up and put away her phone. "What do you mean you're going back to Barden? I thought you were staying until Sunday."_

" _I thought I was too, Bree, but I can't take this anymore!" Stacie ran her hand through her hair. "I've been here two days and you've barely said a word to me. You've been on the phone or working the whole time. It's like you're not even here!"_

" _I'm trying to start a business."_

" _You've been trying to start a business for the past six months. Do you even remember what was the last conversation we had? Or the last time we had sex?"_

" _Of course this is about sex." Aubrey rolled her eyes._

" _What is that supposed to mean?"_

" _I'm sorry I haven't fucked you in a while, Stacie, but I've had other things in my mind more important than satiating your teenage boy libido."_

" _Oh my god, are you hearing yourself? It's not about sex! It's about the fact that this relationship doesn't exist anymore. You're here and I'm there and even when we're together it's like you're still in a different place. You don't even look at me."_

 _Aubrey looked down at her feet and took a deep breath. She knew what Stacie was saying was true, she had been pretty checked out since she started working on the lodge._

" _Semifinals." Aubrey looked up confused. "That's the last time we had sex, after semifinals last month. That's also the reason I'm still here. You went there with your huge bouquet of flowers and you smiled like you used to. We had a perfect night and I thought that maybe things would go back to normal, that maybe I had you back." Stacie choked back a sob. "But you left and it was the same. You didn't talk to me all week, I kept getting your voicemail, and every time I said I love you before hanging up, my heart broke a little more. But I knew you were still there, my Aubrey, somewhere, so I thought that if I just waited we'd be okay."_

 _Aubrey walked up to her at this and took her face in her hands, wiping away her tears with her thumbs. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you. I'm so close right now, I just need a little more time."_

 _Stacie shook her head. "I can't. It hurts too much to be with you." Stacie grabbed her bag and walked away._

" _So that's it? You're not even going to let me fight for us?"_

 _Stacie looked back at her sadly. "Do you even want to?"_

Aubrey had never wanted something more than to say yes in that moment, to fight for Stacie, to run after her and beg her to forgive her but she didn't. She let her walk out and drive back to Barden. She knew that if she followed her, if she told her that she cared about her more than anything else, Stacie would take her back. And after she took her back, Aubrey was sure she would hurt her again and she couldn't live with that. Stacie was better off without her.

She didn't call or try to contact her. Whenever she'd ask Chloe how she was she'd always tell her she was okay. She didn't know if she was telling the truth but she had to believe it. If Stacie was okay, nothing else mattered. Stacie would get over her, find someone better, someone who wouldn't hurt her.

She allowed herself a moment to wonder what Stacie was feeling about seeing her again. She didn't know if Stacie was dating someone. She could ask Chloe, just to be prepared. Her stomach clenched at the thought. She knew she couldn't expect Stacie to stay single forever, she was gorgeous and smart. Maybe she'd gone back to sleeping with a different person every week. Aubrey didn't know what option made her feel worse. She lifted her head only to drop it back down with a loud thud.

Her door opened and she looked up. "Boss, there's a very loud… oh I'm sorry, are you feeling okay?"

Aubrey attempted to smile but it came out as a grimace. "I'm okay. What's the problem."

"Nothing, I can handle it. If you want to go home early, I can handle today's clients." Her door closed again and she dropped her head back on her desk.

The last thing she wanted right now was to go home. Going home only reminded her of how empty her life was without Stacie. Her least favorite moment was when she remembered she was alone, those mornings where she forgot anything had happened and she could almost feel Stacie sleeping next to her, just for a second. It hadn't happened in a while but she was sure tomorrow would be one of those days.

Aubrey swallowed. She didn't cry. She never cried. She had dived into her work, setting up the lodge, and building it up to what it was today. If there was one thing Aubrey knew was how to push her feelings down.

She grabbed her purse and walked out of her office. She didn't want to go home but she didn't want to be cooped up in there anymore and she was way too tired to join in on any of the activities happening today. Whatever happened when she saw Stacie, she couldn't allow herself to hope. Nothing was going to change in those three days. She'd do her job, hopefully help her friends, and go back to her life. Maybe seeing Stacie again would help her have closure and move on.

* * *

"Stace!" Chloe knocked on the door. "Do you have a minute?"

Fat Amy opened the door and nodded at Stacie's side of the room. She was lying on her bed, headphones on and a thick book in front of her. "Brainy here is doing some 'light' reading."

Chloe crossed the room and sat on the bed next to her. Stacie pulled her headphones down and gave her a small smile. "Hey, what's up, Chlo?"

"Amy, can you give us a minute?"

Fat Amy was sitting on her bed pretending not to pay attention to them and looked at Chloe with her eyes wide. "Ah, yeah, sure. I'll go see if Beca needs help with her umm singing."

Chloe waited for her to close the door before she turned back to Stacie. She had gone back to reading and wasn't paying much attention to Chloe. "Stace, you know that retreat we're going to?"

"Yeah…" She twirled her highlighter absentmindedly a couple of times before it stopped and fell from her hand. She looked up at Chloe, her eyes wide with dread. "No."

"Stacie, come on, we need her."

Stacie got up and started walking backwards away from the bed shaking her head. "No, no, no, no, I can't, I won't, no. I'm not going."

"Please, Stacie. We need to win worlds."

"There has to be another way! Please Chloe, I can't." Stacie looked at her, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Okay, you don't have to come." Chloe nodded. "She's gonna know you're not there because of her."

Stacie shook her head. "She doesn't care."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "I refuse to have this conversation with you anymore." She got up. "I just came here to let you know. Come, don't come, it's your choice. But we need you." She squeezed Stacie's shoulder and walked out of the room.

Stacie stood there for a while trying to collect herself. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry about Aubrey anymore.

She looked at the book on her bed. Trying to study now would be pointless. She grabbed the jacket from the back of a chair and walked out, almost running over Emily on her way to the door. She slammed the front door and jumped into her car. She didn't know where she was going but she had to get away and clear her head.

She turned up the music to drown the noise in her head and drove without thinking about where she was going. She didn't realize where she was headed until she was driving up the hill. She sat on her parked car for a minute before getting out and walking up the gravel path to the clearing overlooking the city. She walked up to the edge and sat down on the grass, hugging her legs and resting her chin on her knees.

Stacie sighed as she thought about the first time she had been there: her first date with Aubrey. They had returned several times after that, they'd lay on a blanket, Aubrey tucked to her side, or they would sit looking down over the city, her back pressed against Aubrey's front, the blonde's arms wrapped tightly around her. She didn't believe in soulmates or 'The One' but she didn't think she would ever love someone as much as she loved Aubrey. No matter how hard she had tried to hate her, she still loved her just as much.

Breaking up with Aubrey had been hard, but learning to live without her had been worse. She had been a mess when she got back to the Bella house after driving back from Aubrey's. She went straight to her room and got into bed, not moving to eat, change or shower for the next three days. Chloe had tried to get her to eat a couple of times but she wouldn't even look at her. It wasn't until Beca, with the help of Fat Amy and CR, had carried her to the bathroom and thrown her into the shower with her clothes on that the feelings she had been avoiding hit her full force. She slid down to the floor and curled up crying. Beca jumped into the shower in her clothes and wrapped her arms around her, letting her cry on her shoulder until the water got cold.

After that, she had focused on her school work. Whenever she wasn't at Bellas rehearsal, she was studying. Beca was relieved she hadn't spiraled back into her self destructive cycle like the last time she and Aubrey had broken up, but anyone who knew Stacie before could immediately notice there was something different with her. She had lost her happy, carefree attitude. There were times when she seemed to be back to her old self, cracking jokes and making inappropriate comments, but there was always something off in the way her smile never really seemed to reach her eyes and the noticeable tension in her shoulders.

All her hard work had led to her being accepted in the Planetary Sciences graduate program at MIT and, while she was happy about it, Stacie couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. The worst thing was that she knew exactly where to find that missing piece of her, but she couldn't go back.

That's why she couldn't go to the retreat, she couldn't see Aubrey again. She knew she'd take Aubrey back the second she asked. Not that she thought she would, but it would be too hard to be in the same place, breathe the same air, and not feel like she was whole again. If Aubrey touched her, she would be lost. On the other hand, if she acted like she didn't care it would break her heart all over again, and Stacie wasn't sure she would be able to study through it again. No, she just had to finish the school year and she'd be gone. Maybe then she would be able to move on.


	2. Chapter 2

Beca walked down the hall to Stacie's room. Fat Amy was downstairs wrestling Flo for the remote so she knew Stacie was alone. Stacie had barely been in the house since Chloe had told her about the retreat. She showed up to rehearsal on time and left as soon as it was over. The rest of her time was spent either in class or at the library. However, today she had come home after class mumbling something about her physics book being too heavy to carry it around.

Beca wasn't sure what she was going to say but she wasn't going to get another chance to convince Stacie to go with them to the retreat. And if Stacie didn't go, the whole thing was pointless.

She got to Stacie's room and was surprised to find the door slightly ajar. Beca pushed the door open and peeked in, finding Stacie sitting at her desk, a huge book sitting in front of her.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." Stacie said without looking up. "I guess Chloe thought tough love would work better again."

"Chloe didn't send me." Beca sat on the bed behind Stacie. "I just wanted to see how you were, I've barely seen you this week."

"You see me at rehearsal every day." She put her pencil down on the book and turned to face Beca with a sigh. "I'm fine, Beca, really. I don't need a pep talk."

"Okay." Beca shrugged and laid back on the bed.

Stacie raised an eyebrow at her. She wasn't used to Beca letting things go so easy. "Okay? That's it?"

"If you say you're okay, I believe you." Stacie narrowed her eyes at her before turning back to her book. "I'm actually glad you're not coming with us, less people there to see me doing stupid bonding activities. Hell, I wish I could skip."

"I know what you're doing, Beca. It won't work."

"I'm serious, I'm jealous of you. I'd bail too but it would break Chloe's heart more, you know how important this is for her."

"Beca, stop! You know I'm not skipping this because I'm an asshole and don't care about the Bellas or Chloe."

Beca sat up and looked at Stacie sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Stace, I didn't mean it like that." She ran her fingers through her hair. "It's just that we're a team and we need you. You don't have to talk to Aubrey, or be alone with her. I'll stay with you the whole time, I promise."

"Really?" Beca nodded. "Even if Chloe calls you for sex?"

"I won't leave your side, even if she starts singing Titanium naked… again." Beca smirked.

Stacie bit her lip and thought about it. If she was never alone with Aubrey, nothing bad could happen. She would just be another a person going to a retreat with her friends. She smiled briefly at Beca. "Fine, I'll go."

* * *

Stacie sat at the back of the bus trying to control her breathing. She had changed her mind at the last minute and tried to get off the bus but Beca and Chloe had talked her down. She was currently sitting with her eyes closed and her head leaning on the window. Chloe hadn't moved from the seat next to her, clutching her hand tightly. She felt Chloe give her hand a squeeze. "We're almost there, are you ready?"

Stacie took a deep breath and leaned her head on Chloe's shoulder. "I don't know."

"You'll be fine, we're just here to find our sound. She's just a person we hired." She kissed the top of Stacie's head and gave her hand another squeeze. "It's gonna be good."

* * *

Aubrey flushed the toilet and turned to the sink to brush her teeth. Beca had texted her that they were ten minutes out and she'd had to run to the bathroom. She spat out angrily and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked good, her make-up effectively covering the bags under her eyes. She reapplied her lipgloss. "Get it together, Posen. They're just another client."

She faced the door and took a deep breath, plastering a smile on her face before exiting the bathroom. She walked outside and waited. After a short while she saw the white Bellas van driving up the road towards her. Her stomach lurched again but she pushed the nerves down gritting her teeth and widening her smile. Her jaw was clenched so tight that it was starting to hurt.

The van stopped in front of her and the girls started filing out. Most of them running to greet her warmly. The only ones that hung back were Stacie, Beca, and a tall girl Aubrey figured must be new. She let her eyes move from Emily to Stacie. Her hair was braided back but Aubrey noticed it was lighter than the last time she saw her. She was biting her lip and looking down at her feet with her hands in her pockets. She looked up and Aubrey's breath hitched in her throat. Stacie's eyes widened for a second before she looked away again, her hand reaching out and grabbing Beca's. Aubrey frowned when Beca squeezed her hand. Her assistant cleared his throat, bringing her back. She quickly smiled again before narrowing her eyes and yelling at them to get in line.

She gave them the speech, it was a slight variation from her usual one since she knew a bit more about them, but it seemed to have the desired effect. She avoided eye contact with Stacie but she could feel her looking at her. She also avoided looking at Beca, who had apparently been perfecting her glare just for this moment. When she was done, she walked them down to their tent. "You can leave your things here. You've got a big day tomorrow so we're just going to do some relaxation exercises today. Lucas will walk you to the meditation room, I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Aubrey started walking back to her office. "Bree!"

She stopped and turned smiling at Chloe. The redhead ran to catch up to her and smiled. "Hey."

"How are you holding up with…" She nodded her head behind her at the group of girls.

Aubrey smiled but Chloe knew her enough to see it wasn't real. "I'm okay. I'm trying not to think too much about it. I just wish I knew how to make this easier for her."

Chloe hugged her and Aubrey almost let her control slip. She missed Chloe. The redhead had tried to not take anyone's side during the break up but with Beca being Stacie's best friend and them living in the same house, Aubrey had barely seen her in the past year. "I've missed you, Chlo."

"I've missed you too, Bree." Chloe let her go and wiped a stray tear. "Look at me, getting all emotional." She chuckled. "I better go, wouldn't wanna miss anything." She winked at Aubrey and walked away, following the other girls toward one of the cabins.

Aubrey realized where they were going and her eyes widened. "Shit." She ran to catch up to them but she was too far behind to make it before they got in. She could hear the girls gasping as they went into the room. The windows were blacked out and a series of tiny lights were hung from the ceiling to resemble the night sky. Aubrey had hired someone to make it as accurate as possible. She pulled her assistant to the side and whispered harshly at him. "I told you to go to the other cabin."

The man fumbled with his clipboard nervously. "I'm sorry, boss, but there must have been a mix up and it was busy so I thought it wouldn't matter if we used the blackout room."

Aubrey pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's okay, I'll take it from here." He scurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Aubrey's eyes adjusted to the dimness and she was able to make out the silhouette of Stacie looking up at the ceiling. She looked down and turned until she found her. Aubrey was thankful for the lack of light because she didn't want to know what she would've seen if she had been able to look at Stacie's eyes. Stacie took a step in her direction and Aubrey stopped breathing. She stopped and looked up again, shook her head and turned back around, walking away. Aubrey exhaled loudly. "Alright, let's start with some breathing exercises."

* * *

Stacie turned the corner and crashed into someone. She stumbled back but managed to catch herself on the wall and regain her balance. The other person, however, wasn't so lucky. Aubrey's assistant fell on his ass, his clipboard flying out of his hands and landing by Stacie's feet. "Shit, I'm so sorry." Stacie picked up the clipboard and moved to help him up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." He smiled at her and let her pull him to his feet. He dusted off his caquis and took his clipboard back.

"Lucas, right? I'm Stacie." They shook hands awkwardly.

"Are you having a pleasant stay?"

Stacie chuckled. "If by pleasant you mean exhausting then yeah, I am." He smiled commiseratingly. "I really loved the meditation room from yesterday though."

"Oh yeah, we call it the dark room. It's Aubrey's favorite. It actually took the longest to complete, she brought an astronomer to help with the design. The lights are placed exactly where they would be if you were looking at the sky."

He looked at Stacie and narrowed his eyes. "Can I ask you something? I don't usually talk to the clients about her but since you know her from way back…" Stacie nodded. "Has she always been so, I don't know, melancholic? She just looks really sad sometimes that it makes me wonder if something happened to her. I don't mean to pry, but we've been working together for so long that you start noticing things and she's a nice person to work for so I care."

Stacie swallowed. She didn't want to care about Aubrey feeling sad but she did. "I haven't really seen her in a while but getting this place up and running took a lot from her."

He half smiled at her. "I think she really misses you. She seems different since you arrived."

Stacie knew he was talking in general, that he meant that Aubrey missed the Bellas, not just her. But Stacie felt her heart beat faster and, maybe it was because this guy seemed to genuinely care about Aubrey, she admitted something she hadn't allowed herself to even consider. "I miss her too."

He slapped his clipboard against his leg and nodded at her. "I should get back to work. It was really nice bumping into you, Stacie."

"Yeah." She waved at him absentmindedly, thinking about what he had just said and what she had just admitted.

* * *

"I think I dropped something at the campfire, I'll be right back." Stacie turned and started walking back up the path.

"Wait, I'll go with you." Beca ran to catch up with her.

"I'm good, Becs, It'll take a second."

Beca sighed. "Fine, but don't blame me if you end up spending the night in a bear trap."

"I won't!" Stacie yelled over her shoulder.

She got back to the clearing where Aubrey was kneeling next to the fire. She leaned on a tree and watched her. She didn't look a lot different, maybe a little thinner and a bit more tan from being outside. Aubrey grabbed the flashlight by her feet and stood up. "Are you going to say anything or are you just going to stay there in the shadows like a creeper." She turned and looked surprised. "Stacie. I heard you walking back, I thought you were Beca coming to kill me."

Stacie smirked. "Sorry to disappoint."

Aubrey smiled sadly. "I wouldn't count myself safe from the little midget yet."

"I don't think she has forgiven you."

Aubrey sighed. "I haven't forgiven myself either."

They looked at each other. Stacie bit her lip and pushed herself off the tree, walking closer to Aubrey. She stopped after a moment, leaving the log circle separating them. "That room we were in yesterday…"

"Yeah, you weren't supposed to see that." Aubrey looked down and tapped a rock with her foot. "I thought about it a while ago and I thought it was a pretty good idea so I decided to do it."

"So the fact that it has the stars that could be seen on our first date is just a coincidence?" Stacie scoffed.

"What do you want me to say?" Aubrey sounded tired.

"Do you still love me?" The fire reflected on Stacie's eyes.

Aubrey turned away. "Don't ask me that."

Stacie moved closer to Aubrey. "Bree, please."

"Why does it matter? Love was never the issue." Aubrey turned to face Stacie. "I can't hurt you if I'm not with you, Stace."

"Shouldn't I be included in that decision?" She brushed Aubrey's arm with her fingers making her flinch.

"I can't do this to you again." Aubrey walked back a few steps shaking her head.

Stacie wrapped her arms around herself, the air feeling suddenly a lot colder. She looked up at Aubrey and nodded. "You're right, I don't know why I came back."

Stacie turned away and started walking away. "Chloe told me you got into MIT." Stacie stopped. "I wish… you're going to be great, Stace."

"Too bad you won't be there to see it."


	3. Chapter 3

A loud crash made Stacie run to the entrance hall. She found Chloe sitting on the stairs, several big binders sprawled on the floor at the bottom. Chloe looked on the verge of tears. Stacie quickly stepped over the binders and sat next to Chloe. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

Chloe shook her head. "I just dropped those." She sputtered and threw her arms around Stacie blubbering.

Stacie was taken by surprise and stumbled back slightly, she held onto Chloe and rubbed her back soothingly. "Hey, it's okay. The binders are fine, Chlo."

Chloe shook her head. "It's not the binders. I just have so much to do. Beca is busy making her demo and the set isn't ready yet, I still need to choreograph the songs we do have, and I have to take those to Aubrey so we can start calling former Bellas. I don't have time for everything!" She let out a loud sob and buried her head further into Stacie's shoulder.

Stacie squeezed her tight for a second and pulled her back by the shoulders. "Let me help you."

Chloe looked up at her like she was a liferaft, her eyes wide and bright with tears, her cheeks and nose red. "Really?" Stacie nodded. Chloe looked at the binders on the floor and bit her lip. "I can't ask you to-"

Stacie squeezed her shoulders silencing her. "You're not, I'm offering. Aubrey and I can put our differences aside for this." Chloe looked at her skeptically and Stacie rolled her eyes. "We'll be fine."

"If you're sure." Stacie nodded. "Alright, I'll call her and let her know you're going."

"May I call her? I just want to make sure she's okay with this too." Chloe nodded.

* * *

Stacie dialed the familiar number. She had deleted it from her contacts but she still remembered it. She took a deep breath and pressed the call button. It rang a couple of times before Aubrey picked up. "Hello?" She sounded cheery enough to let Stacie know that she didn't know who was calling which meant she either didn't look or didn't recognize the number.

"Aubrey, hi it's Stacie. Conrad." Stacie slapped her forehead at her ridiculous clarification. "Umm Chloe had a bit of a melt down earlier so I offered to help her with the old Bellas, I mean, former Bellas. Anyway, I wanted to check if you were okay with it since apparently I have to go there."

"Oh." Stacie's heart sank. She waited for Aubrey to say something else until it got to be too much for her. "I mean, we can manage being in the same room alone for one day, right?"

"Right. Sure, Stacie, I'll see you here."

* * *

Aubrey paced around her coffee table. This was not a good idea. She thought about calling Chloe and asking her what the fuck she was thinking sending Stacie there, but since Stacie told her she had a melt down, yelling at her was probably not the best idea right now. She'd just have to deal with spending the better part of her Saturday, in her apartment, with Stacie. If only she could not be in love with Stacie, it would be a lot easier. But if she hadn't managed it in the time since they broke up, she wouldn't be able to do it in the time it took Stacie to drive there from Barden.

She didn't understand why Stacie had offered to go, how could she not hate her after what happened at the lodge? She had to at least be mad. Maybe it had served to make her realize she didn't really want to be with Aubrey and she was trying to move on with her life. That's what Aubrey had wanted all along, for Stacie to move on and find someone who would make her happy. Then why did the thought of it make her feel sick? She needed to find a way to get through this without doing something stupid.

* * *

This was not a good idea. There were certainly better things she could be doing right now than driving four hours to her ex's apartment on a Saturday. But she had promised Chloe she'd go and she'd be civil.

She was still mad at Aubrey, she had swallowed her pride and reached out to her at the lodge only to be rejected again. Stacie knew Aubrey still loved her, and she knew Aubrey enough to tell she wanted her back; but she didn't fully understand what was holding her back. If what she wanted was not hurt her then, why would she think not being with her was the way to accomplish that? Stacie was tired of trying to understand it, soon she would be gone and she wouldn't see Aubrey for good.

Stacie parked in front of Aubrey's apartment building. She had been here many times but she had only felt this sense of dread once before: the day she arrived before breaking up with her. She pushed open the door and made her way up to Aubrey's floor. She put the box with the binders down and knocked. She ran her finger over the chip in the paint of the doorframe from the time they hit it moving in a coffee table and smiled. The door opened startling her. Aubrey's hair was up and she was wearing jeans and a red sleeveless shirt. Stacie had to make a huge effort not to check her out and not to think of the sliver of skin exposed between the shirt and her jeans. Jesus, Stacie, get a grip. You're mad, remember?

"Hey, Stacie, come in." Aubrey ushered her in and started walking to her office. "I thought we could work in here."

Stacie had to pause for a second. Everything looked the same. She remembered the countless times she'd been in this room; the times she'd come in to check on Aubrey while she was working late; how sometimes she managed to convince her to go to bed with her, other times Aubrey would pull her onto her lap and kiss her, telling her she'd be a little longer. In the end, Aubrey would barely look up from what she was doing when she came into the room. She shook her head to clear it and went into the room, dropping the box on the table.

"Do you want something to drink? I think I have apple juice."

"Yeah, that's fine." Aubrey started to walk out of the room. "Aubrey, I think we should call a truce."

Aubrey turned and crossed her arms. "A truce?"

"I think that, for this to work, we have to agree to not talk about us, or feelings, or anything that doesn't have to do with the Bellas. I mean, that's why we're doing this, right? The Bellas?"

"Okay." Aubrey nodded. "That sounds reasonable."

Aubrey stood there awkwardly with her arms crossed for a moment. "I'll go get your juice."

Stacie started pulling out binders from the box. Each binder contained contact information of everyone who had ever been a Bella. They were organized chronologically so she took the newest binder and placed it on Aubrey's side of the table.

Aubrey came back with Stacie's glass. "Two ice cubes, just like you like it."

Stacie smiled. "Thanks, Bree." She took a sip and pointed at the binder. "I thought you could start with the people you knew. I'll call Mrs. Junk and see if she can help us with the Bellas she knows and then I'll start from the back."

They started making phone calls. After a while they relaxed around each other, rolling their eyes when people started talking to much and making each other laugh. Stacie got up to the kitchen to refill her glass with a smile. Being here was a lot easier than she had expected. She sat back down and went to the next name. She couldn't make out the last three digits so she waited for Aubrey to hang up. "Bree, I can't really tell what these numbers are, can you take a look?"

"Sure, Stace." She walked around the table and leaned over Stacie's shoulder. Stacie stopped breathing when she felt the heat radiating from Aubrey's body. They weren't touching but they were really close, Stacie could smell the familiar scent of Aubrey's shampoo. Stacie turned her head, her face so close to Aubrey's she could've kissed her cheek. Aubrey's mouth was moving but Stacie wasn't listening. Aubrey realized she wasn't listening and turned, their noses brushing against each other. Aubrey looked down at Stacie's lips then back up at her eyes. Stacie could feel Aubrey's breath on her lips, all she had to do was move less than an inch and they'd be kissing. Aubrey pulled back suddenly. "I'm sorry, I… I shouldn't have… I need to…"

Aubrey walked out of the room and Stacie sighed, resting her elbows on the table and dropping her head onto her hands with a groan. "Way to go, Conrad."

They went through most of the binders. Aubrey seemed a bit on edge since their almost kiss but Stacie tried to ignore it and act normal. She rubbed her eyes. "I should go, I don't want to get back so late."

Aubrey looked up from the list she was making of the Bellas who had agreed to do the performance. "Oh, okay." Stacie thought she had detected a hint of disappointment in her tone but she couldn't be sure. "I'll email you the list with the contact info and I'll send them an email with all the details. Do you think we'll need to get them together before Denmark?"

Stacie put the binders back in the box and they walked to the door. "I'll ask Chloe if she wants to have a rehearsal with everyone before we go and let you know."

"Okay." Aubrey opened the front door for Stacie. "Bye, Stace."

"Bye, Bree."

* * *

Stacie was standing by the water cooler and looked at Aubrey and Chloe ushering Bellas to their right place. The current Bellas were waiting for them to be done so they could continue with rehearsal. She laughed as Aubrey tried to get Emily's mom to stop teaching the syncopated booty shake to Jessica and Ashley and get back to her place. While this was happening, some of the other Bellas strayed away even though Chloe was trying really hard to keep them all together. Stacie chuckled again as Beca called a break and Aubrey glared at her exasperated.

"You're Stacie, right?" Stacie turned to face the girl talking to her. "I'm Alice."

The older Bella held out her hand and Stacie shook it. "I am. You were Chloe's and Aubrey's captain, right?"

"Yes, I heavily underestimated little Red. I never thought she'd lead you to four national championships."

Stacie smiled stiffly. "Yeah, Chloe is pretty awesome."

"I've been to some of your performances. You're pretty good." Alice rested her hand on Stacie's upper arm. "You really should be getting more solos." Her hand traveled down Stacie's arm and Stacie laughed nervously, mostly because she wanted to get away.

Aubrey had seen Alice approach Stacie. Stacie had her back to her so she couldn't see her face, but Alice had a mischievous glint in her eyes. Aubrey had seen her flirt with judges enough times to know what she was doing. Chloe walked up to her and noticed she was glaring at them. "Does she know you were together?"

"I don't know but I don't like this." Aubrey crossed her arms and pursed her lips. She saw Alice's hand move and heard Stacie giggle. Her nostrils flared. "I need to…"

"Aubrey don't!" Chloe called helplessly at her retreating back.

"Stacie, can I talk to you for a second?" Aubrey glared at Alice. Stacie smiled at her apologetically and followed Aubrey to a corner of the room.

Aubrey turned to her and crossed her arms. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"You were flirting with Alice!" Aubrey tried to keep her voice down.

"I'm sorry, but why do you think you can tell me who I can and cannot flirt with?" Stacie was not even making an effort to keep her voice at a normal level. The fact that she wasn't even flirting back making her more upset.

"She's my nemesis, Stacie!" The people closest to them turned to look.

"Your nemesis? Who are you, Batman?"

"You know what I mean! She just did it to push my buttons!" By now the whole room was listening in on their fight.

"Well you're doing a great job not letting her win." Stacie raised her arms and took a step back. "I'm done having this conversation, just fucking leave me alone."

Stacie walked away and grabbed her things, exiting the room loudly.

"Aca-awkward." Fat Amy said under her breath.

Aubrey hurried to get her own things and left too, trying to hold back her tears until she was away from that place. She hurried to her car, her breathing getting faster and louder. "Aubrey!" She ignored the person calling her name. "Aubrey."

She felt a hand on her arm and turned to find a panting Beca. "Whatever you're going to say, Beca, just save it."

Aubrey turned and kept walking. "Aubrey, wait!" Aubrey didn't stop.

Beca sighed and yelled. "You're a fucking idiot, Aubrey Posen!"

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey turned. Beca flinched but didn't move back.

"You think you're doing Stacie a favor by not being with her but you're still hurting her. You need to get your shit together! You can't push her away one day and throw a jealous fit the next!" Beca threw her arms up. "If you don't want her just let her go."

"The problem is I can't! I've tried letting her go but I can't! I can't stop loving her." A tear rolled down her cheek and Aubrey wiped it away.

"Then fight for her! Stop acting like a fucking coward."

"I've hurt her too much already, Beca. I can't do it again." She turned away from Beca to hide her tears.

Beca walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you'll hurt her again, maybe she'll hurt you. But you can't think about that. If you love her, she's worth it." She squeezed her shoulder. "Just figure it out fast because she's not going to let you treat her like this for much longer." Beca dropped her hand. "See you in Denmark."


	4. Chapter 4

Beca knocked on the door. "Stace!" She waited but got no response. She took the key she'd gotten from Fat Amy and opened the door. Stacie was on the bed on top of the covers, her head buried under the pillows. "Stacie." She shook Stacie's shoulder. "Come on, there's no moping in Denmark."

"Leave me alone." Stacie's voice was muffled by the pillows.

"Stace, come on, you can't spend the whole trip hiding in the hotel." Beca shook her again. "Did you know that the oldest functioning observatory in Europe is in Copenhagen?" Stacie peeked at her from under the pillows with a raised eyebrow. "What? I can google. Come on, you can geek out and learn about Danish astronomers."

Stacie half smiled. "Fine, I'll go."

Stacie got up and followed Beca outside. They took a cab, thankfully the drivers around the hotel spoke English and Beca was able to explain where they wanted to go. They got out in front of the tall, round tower. Beca and Stacie stood outside for a moment, gaping at the building. Stacie smiled and looked at Beca before grabbing her arm and pulling her inside to buy their tickets.

They started walking up while Stacie read from the guide they got with their tickets. "The Run… de… taarn," Stacie struggled with the Danish name. "or Round Tower, was commissioned in the 17th century by Christian IV. Instead of stairs, a 7.5-turn spiral ramp forms the only access way to the towertop observatory as well as the Library Hall and the Bell-Ringer's Loft."

"Awesome, no stairs!" Beca cheered. Stacie rolled her eyes.

"Oooh did you know that Hans Christian Andersen used to visit the library in the tower and even mentioned it in a couple of his stories?" Stacie said excitedly.

"I did not." Beca smiled at her, she knew getting her out of the hotel would cheer her up.

They got up to the observation deck and looked around at the city. Stacie felt the wind on her face and smiled. "This is awesome." She looked down at Beca and bumped her shoulder. "Thanks for making me come, Becs."

"Well Chloe abandoned me so it was dragging you out or doing something potentially illegal with Lilly and Fat Amy." Beca chuckled.

"Well thanks anyway." Stacie knew Beca didn't just do it because of that but it would make her uncomfortable if she pointed it out. "Where is Chloe, anyway?"

"Umm she went out with Aubrey."

"Oh." Stacie hadn't talked to Aubrey since the incident with Alice. She had struggled with her feelings about that a lot. She wasn't sure if Aubrey did it because she still had feelings for her or because it was Alice who was flirting with her. Their almost kiss made her more inclined to think it was because she cared, but she didn't dare hope. Especially when the probability of Aubrey actually making a move was close to zero even if she did care. She was exhausted of thinking about Aubrey and wondering if they still had a future.

"Stace…" Beca placed a hand on her arm.

"I'm okay." She smiled sadly. "I'm just tired."

Beca knew she wasn't talking about being physically tired. "She'll come around."

Stacie nodded. "I don't know if I can keep waiting."

Beca hugged her arm and rested her head on her shoulder. "You'll be okay, Stace. I'm here whatever happens."

Stacie chuckled. "What am I going to do when you're in LA and I'm in Boston?"

"We'll skype and you can come visit me. You can do you PhD in Caltech."

Stacie snorted. "Maybe."

"It won't be so bad." Beca squeezed her arm. "And CR will be close enough to keep an eye on you for me."

They stayed there for a while until Beca started to fidget. She let go of Stacie and patted her back. "Okay, enough sap for now. I'm starving."

* * *

Aubrey dropped her bags on a chair and sat exhaustedly. "I don't think we've walked and shopped this much in one day since that time we performed at the Mall of America."

"Except you had a lot less money back then. Thanks for the shoes!" Chloe hugged a bag with a shoe box smiling widely.

"You're welcome." Aubrey chuckled. "I missed this, us, hanging out."

"Me too." Chloe smiled. "You have to come visit me in LA."

"Ugh do you really have to go live with the hobbit?" She took Chloe's hand. "Run away with me."

Chloe laughed and rubbed her thumb over Aubrey's hand. "You know I totes would if we weren't in love with other people." Aubrey looked down. "Bree, you're miserable without her, why won't you do something?"

"I think it might be too late for that." Aubrey let go of Chloe's hand and pressed her palms to her face. "Why am I so stupid?"

"You're not stupid, you're stubborn. And you thought you were doing the best thing for everyone." Aubrey's shoulders started to shake and Chloe stood up and kneeled next to her chair patting her leg. "You could still fix it."

Aubrey shook her head. "I don't know how." She let out a sob and wiped at her eyes. She cried for all the times she hadn't allowed herself to cry, for all the times she'd pushed it down and moved on. She couldn't be strong anymore, she was broken. "I miss her so much. Nothing makes sense without her. Everything I worked for, the lodge, I would trade it all for a chance to do it right."

Chloe's heart broke for her friend. "Then tell her."

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me? I've screwed up so much." Aubrey looked down at her.

Chloe had never seen her so vulnerable, so crushed. She pushed Aubrey's hair back and wiped her cheek. "She loves you, Bree. Just talk to her."

Aubrey nodded and sniffed. "I will... after the competition."

* * *

Aubrey waited for the party to wind down. The Bellas had won, not that she'd had any doubt about it, and they had moved to a club by the hotel to celebrate. Most of the former Bellas had left already, but they had invited some of the other teams so there were still some people on the dancefloor. She heard Stacie's laugh and felt her stomach drop. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, she looked happy. Stacie felt Aubrey's gaze and turned to look at her. She gave her a small smile and turned away to continue her conversation with CR and Jessica. Emily stumbled over to them. Her mom had left early and she was of legal drinking age here, which had resulted in her getting very drunk. She leaned on Stacie and slurred something at them. The three older girls looked at each other and nodded before getting up and walking out with Emily between Stacie and Jessica. Aubrey hurried behind them and excited the club. "Stacie!" The group turned to her making Aubrey feel self conscious. She wrapped her arms around herself. "Can I talk to you?"

CR moved to Emily's side and nodded at her. "It's okay, we've got her."

Stacie handed her Emily's arm and thanked them before turning around and facing Aubrey with an apprehensive look. She waited for the other girls to be out of earshot. "What do you want?"

Aubrey flinched and Stacie almost regretted sounding so harsh. "I want to apologize." Aubrey took a step closer to her. "I'm sorry I've been an idiot for going on two years now; I'm sorry about the Alice thing; I'm sorry about not kissing you when you were in my apartment; I'm sorry I turned you down at the lodge; I'm sorry I didn't stop you that day; and I'm sorry I took you for granted. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Stace, and I wish I could go back and make it right but I can't, all I can do is let you know how sorry I am."

Stacie took a step back and wiped the tears that were running down her face. "Why now?" Aubrey looked at her confused. "What changed? Why couldn't you apologize before? Why did you make me wait for so long?"

Aubrey looked down. "I realized I wasn't doing anyone any good by staying away." She reached out and put a hand on Stacie's forearm. "I thought I was protecting you but I only hurt you more. And I need you, I love you." She looked at Stacie's eyes. "You're the love of my life, Stace." Stacie looked away. "I know I don't deserve it, but I'm asking for another chance. Please."

Stacie looked up. She'd been waiting for this for so long, why was she hesitating? "You hurt me so much."

Aubrey cupped her cheeks. "I know. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm an idiot." Stacie shook her head and Aubrey dropped her hands. "That's why I thought staying away was best for you."

Stacie snorted. "You are an idiot." She wiped her eyes and looked at Aubrey. "Maybe I'm an idiot too, for loving you." She took Aubrey's hand and laced their fingers, closing her eyes at the familiar feeling of warmth that enveloped her.

"Stace?" She opened her eyes and looked at Aubrey. "Does this mean…?"

"It means we can try to work things out. I need you to convince me that you're all in."

Aubrey nodded. "Okay. Do you want to start now? We can go back to my room, get room service, talk?"

"I'd like that." Stacie smiled.

They walked back to the hotel. Stacie hadn't let go of her hand and Aubrey kept looking at her, afraid that her brain would catch up to reality and she would realize this wasn't actually happening. They got into the elevator and Stacie cupped her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere." Aubrey leaned into her hand and smiled at how well Stacie knew her.

They got to her door and she had to let go of Stacie's hand to look for her key and open the door. "I'm sorry for the mess, I went shopping with Chloe yesterday and haven't had time to pack everything."

Stacie chuckled at the fact that 'the mess' was just a few shopping bags on the floor next to her suitcase. She sat on the edge of Aubrey's bed. Aubrey went to the phone and grabbed the room service menu. "Waffles and fries?" Stacie looked up smiling and nodded.

Aubrey placed their order and sat next to Stacie not looking at her. Stacie grabbed her hand and pulled her closer when she turned to face her. She pressed her forehead to Aubrey's and ran the fingers of her free hand down her jaw. "I've missed you so much."

Aubrey nodded. "Me too." Aubrey closed the gap between their lips and kissed her softly. "I love you."

Stacie smiled and kissed her a couple of times before pulling back. "I love you too."

The food arrived and they ate on the bed while Stacie told her about the places she'd visited with Beca. They finished eating and Stacie watched as Aubrey put the plates back on the tray. When Aubrey came back she realized there was a sad look on her face. She took Stacie's hand and squeezed it. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm moving to Boston." Aubrey moved closer to her and rubbed her arm.

"I know, we'll figure it out. My lease for the place where the lodge is ends in October, I could move it anywhere."

Stacie looked up, her mouth hanging open. "Really? You'd do that?"

Aubrey nodded. "It's not the craziest idea. There are a lot of companies headquartered in the north east, I'd have enough clients. And the move wouldn't be that much of a problem, I'd just need to find a place big enough nearby." She pushed Stacie's hair back behind her ear. "We could live together."

Stacie gasped. "Are you asking me to move in with you on our first date?"

Aubrey smiled "Too soon?"

Stacie shook her head and kissed her, pulling her down on the bed. They kissed for a while, Stacie's hands on the back of Aubrey's neck and Aubrey's on her back. Neither of them tried to take it further, content with just kissing for the time being. Finally, Stacie pushed Aubrey's shoulder lightly and pulled back. "I should go to my room."

Aubrey scooted closer. "Stay. Just to sleep. I miss waking up next to you."

Stacie bit her lip. She didn't want to rush things, she knew that they still had a lot of things to work through for this to work, but she didn't think she could leave Aubrey's arms right now. She nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Aubrey started to stirr. She felt something under her arm and she opened her eyes. Stacie was sleeping next to her on her back, Aubrey's arm was draped over her waist. She looked at Stacie's face: her perfect nose, her full, delicious lips. She didn't think she'd ever get to kiss those lips again. She smiled, trying not to think about all the time she'd wasted punishing herself. She was with Stacie now and that was all that mattered. She wouldn't waste this opportunity. She pulled herself closer and nuzzled her cheek. Stacie groaned softly and turned, throwing her leg on top of Aubrey's and running her hand up Aubrey's arm. She mumbled something unintelligible making Aubrey laugh. She kissed Stacie's nose and rubbed her back. "Good morning, gorgeous."

Stacie buried her face in her neck and kissed her softly. "Gimme 5 minutes, Bree."

Aubrey sighed and rested her head on top of Stacie's. "You can have the rest of my life."

* * *

 **A/N: There's going to be a brief epilogue after this. I hoped you liked this story. I wasn't really sure about the angst but I think it turned out okay.**


	5. Chapter 5

Stacie pushed her bike against the wall. She saw Aubrey's keys on the table and frowned. She walked upstairs to their room and found her sitting on the floor surrounded by shoes. "Babe, what are you doing home so early?"

"You're back!" Aubrey stood up. "Shit, what time is it?"

She wrapped her arms around Stacie's neck. "It's six, what are you doing?" She hugged Aubrey close.

"I came home early to be here when you got home from your exam. I was cleaning out the closet and lost track of time, I was gonna make dinner." Aubrey pouted.

Stacie smiled and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She kissed her. "We can order in."

Aubrey nodded, rubbing their noses together. "How did your exam go?"

Stacie groaned. "I don't know, it was long and I'm sure everything I wrote is wrong."

"I'm sure you did great, babe. You're my little genius." Aubrey kissed her. "Now lie down and relax while I order something. I'm really glad the semester is over."

"Me too. I've been working so hard I was afraid my brain might melt and start leaking out my ears." Aubrey chuckled and rubbed Stacie's temples.

"We can't let that happen." She pushed her down onto their bed and kissed her. "I'll be back in a bit to give you a backrub."

Stacie stretched on the bed and sighed. She couldn't believe she was done with her first year of grad school. She looked at the picture of her and Aubrey on the bedside table and smiled. Things had been good. It was a little wobbly at first but things were better than ever now. Living together had been an adjustment at first, but they had settled into a nice routine soon. Getting to come home to Aubrey every day was amazing.

"I ordered Chinese." Aubrey got on the bed next to her and put her hand on Stacie's hip. "Now, I believe I promised you a backrub."

* * *

"So he fell into a bear trap, and we were waiting for the people with him to figure out how to get him out because well, that's the point. But apparently everyone hated him so they just stood around staring at him, dangling up there. And he was yelling, just cursing at everyone which of course didn't make anyone want to move to help him. So anyway, I wanted to leave early to be here so I didn't have time to wait for these people to feel sorry for him or for him to stop being an ass, so I got the shotgun and shot the rope." Aubrey took a forkful from the container in her hand and put it in her mouth.

"Oh my god, Bree! You can't get people down by shooting at them!" Stacie laughed. "You're gonna kill someone or get sued."

Aubrey scoffed. "Everyone signs a release. Pass me the spring rolls."

"Still, no shooting." Stacie pointed her fork at her warningly. "I'm used to having you here, I'd be so lonely if you go to jail."

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Fine, I won't shoot at people anymore."

Stacie got up and kissed her on her way to the cooler by the door. "Thanks, baby."

They had dinner on the roof of their brownstone whenever the weather allowed it. They had a table and some chairs set up, as well as some fairy lights. Stacie grabbed another beer and walked back to her seat but Aubrey pulled her onto her lap as she walked by. Aubrey wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close. Stacie looked into Aubrey's eyes, she ran her fingers down her cheek. She could look into those eyes for the rest of her life. "I love you."

Aubrey smiled. "I love you too."

Stacie shook her head. "I really, really love you."

Aubrey chuckled. "I really, really love you too, babe."

"Aubrey." Stacie swallowed. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She hadn't really planned on doing this tonight but she had been thinking about it for a while. This wasn't the way she wanted to do it but she couldn't wait any longer. "Will you marry me?"

Aubrey's eyes widened. "What?"

"Will you marry me? I have a ring! I don't have it on me right now, I didn't plan on doing it like this, I just couldn't wait." She cupped Aubrey's cheeks. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I-I love you, Bree, I love you more than anything. Please say yes." Aubrey was looking at Stacie with her mouth open. She blinked and a tear escaped her eye. She nodded and choked out a sob. "Is that a yes?" Aubrey nodded again. Stacie wiped Aubrey's cheeks and kissed her. "Wait here."

Stacie got up from her lap and ran downstairs. She came back up a minute later and kneeled in front of Aubrey. Stacie took her hand and Aubrey covered her mouth with her other hand, tears streaming down her face. Stacie held out a box in her hand and opened it. She took the diamond ring out. "Aubrey, baby, you make me so happy. I don't ever want to be without you again. Everything I do, everything I've worked for, it's better because I have you to share it with. Will you make me the happiest person in the world and agree to marry me?"

Aubrey chuckled. "Yes."

Stacie slipped the ring onto her finger with a huge smile on her face. Aubrey lifted her hand to take a closer look at the ring. She looked at Stacie kneeling in front of her and jumped on her, kissing her. When she pulled back, they were both beaming. Aubrey pecked her lips. "I love you."

"I love you."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


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